Speed Gibson

It was another live broadcast from the Minnesota State Fair, and another "rerun" - Clinton S. Collins, Jr from week 14. I therefore am giving myself another week off. But I'll be ready to hear the next contestant next Sunday.

The beat goes on, live from the Minnesota State Fair. It turned out to be Aaron Clary from week 3, the Economics Supper Club as he called it.

State Fair shows are completely different fare, even for the Northern Alliance. So I am going to excuse myself today and likely next week as well. I'm hoping that another one of our contestants gets the nod next week, one I happen to know would love the chance.

Professor Brian Huffman of the University of Wisconsin, River Falls was featured today. His first hour was a gem of epistomology and common sense. I wish I had recorded it, for any number of points he made.

For example, he cited how anti-nuclear power types point out that "those pipes will eventually rupture." How about giving the engineers a little credit? The protesters can think these things through but the designers (mechanical engineers) can't? As a counter-example, he talked about airplane wings, made of alumninum and magnesium. Structurally, it's only a question of when, not if, that these wings will fall off the fuselage. But the engineers also desgined the measurement, inspection and replacement methods that detect the hairline fractures long before they are a threat to the safety of the airplane.

Another good piece of thinking regarded Bill Maher, who believes a six grade education should make atheists of us all. Huffman counters that Maher's own religious education is what never got past the sixth grade, a great rejoinder, and he went on from there to discuss God and science quite well.

All good stuff, but the stuff of lectures. It was more like a scientific version of the late Fulton J. Sheen, so enjoyable but not the basis of the traditional talk radio dialogue. Indeed, his points were so well presented that it probably made listeners fearful to call in, even if they think they agree. He took no calls in the first hour, and only a few in the second hour.

So while I felt that I learned something, and I liked it very much as a lecture, it missed the target of actual talk radio. My grade: a B minus.

We must be nearing the end of The Next Big Thing. This week's entry, a group effort called the "Business Building Network" or BBN was dreadful. However good and noble their intent, it was tedious, slow-paced radio, like public radio.

As with other entrants, a radio program would give these professional business consultants a great marketing opportunity. But here the audience segment truly interested in this, and from a largely academic point of view, and willing to endure the pedantic format has to be microscopic.

I said academic because they seemed out of touch with real business as I've observed it for nearly 40 years. A caller described a restaurant opportunity, where he would buy out a small failed operation grossing maybe $60,000 a year. As the caller described it, I was amazed to hear the deep analysis being performed, discussion of marketing and so on. I kept asking, "What are you buying? Where's the assets? Why do you even need the existing owners? Where's the beef?" There was no evidence of goodwill, no unique asset like a choice spot or unbreakable, transferable lease.

I must, with respect for their resumes and with regret, hand out an "F".

The Next Big Thing continues, though I've heard a couple of hints that either a second round or an appointment is coming soon, more likely the latter. But meanwhile, we start the sixth month of this experiment.

This week we heard Lawrence Ellis with Mike Jordan in a supporting role. Hour one was largely spent on celebrity vs importance vs intelligence. He saw the Bill Gates family at Chicago's O'Hare airport, not drawing any attention. Brittany Spears would be mobbed, but Gates' contribution to the world is several orders of magnitude larger and more important. All true, in fact rather obvious. As Dennis Prager says, being famous doesn't make you important and vice versa.

The second hour opened up a little more but the show remained on a very calm, ordered basis. It wasn't NPR-boring, but it was definitely "FM" in nature. But KSTP-AM is just that - AM. They don't want or need "shock jocks" like Hugh Hewitt as he was once called, but the show needs a little punch to be successful.

It wasn't a bad effort within these lines. Everything worked pretty smoothly, so I'll give this week's duo a "C".

Just when I think I should hang up my gloves on this series, I catch a great edition of this concept. Today's contestant was Sue Jeffers, owner of the lengedary Stub & Herb's restaurant and U of M hangout. I haven't been there in perhaps 25 years (once), and 35 years before that (several times). I am overdue and feel compelled to put some money in her till for all she's gone through and is doing to end the smoking ban.

Also, somewhat of a twist, Jason the producer played somewhat of a co-host role, and it sounded as if planned as opposed to what happened to Sean McDevitt in week 18. Again, Katherine Lampher could learn something about the concept from Jason.

The first hour was great, talking about the smoking ban and all of the other impositions that restaurant owners are fighting. She listed several, like the minimum wage (without tip credit) increase. She leads a group of owners who are seeking relief as in at least partial repeal from Hennepin County and the City of Minneapolis. But could she go beyond this issue I wondered.

It turns out she could, drawing on her years as a Republican and her experience as a mother of three teenagers. It wasn't quite as "tight" as the first hour, but it sure beat many an hour I hear elsewhere on talk radio.

Sue, great job, an A minus! Keep'm flying!

Joel DuBois (I'm guessing on the spelling) was our contestant / host today. He started by giving some of his resume, that of a musician.

We have heard several prior entrants come with show prep out the wazoo on too many topics. Joel does the opposite here, spending the whole two hours on how annoying thumping car stereos are. It was pretty well played out at the thirty minute mark, but it went the distance.

Given so much, Joel did a decent job with the callers and the mechanics of radio. But it just wasn't interesting, not for tow hours. A "D" is the grade.

I'm feeling rather bad that I couldn't get to a radio as planned today to hear the start of today's installment of KSTP AM 1500's "The Next Big Thing" from 2-4 pm on Sundays. When I know I'll be away, I use my "Replay Radio" software to record it, but I didn't anticipate a problem. So I am starting at 2:40 pm this afternoon.

I had a tip that David Strom would be on today, so I'm feeling doubly bad. Well, I joined the Phil Krinke interview in progress, and can judge what might have been said before that based on the Taxpayers League Live program yesterday. What I heard was very good, but how could it sound bad to me, hearing two of my personal heroes together?

Yes, David is a professional, going into my pass/fail column instead of the usual A-F grading. But his wife and aide-de-camp Margaret Martin will get full letter grading.

My faithful readers know that I am not generally a fan of "team coverage" in talk radio. But I will make an exception today for two reasons. One, I think David is at his best with someone else in the booth. I say this largely based on TPL on 1280, of course. And two, who wouldn't be better if that someone else else is the lovely and talented Margaret Martin. Those of us who have met her know that David married well above his station! I'm reminded of Ian & Marjorie on FM 107.1, who also work well together.

The second hour was spent on the uptick in Minneapolis crime, something that David and Margaret know only too well as North Minneapolis residents. They and their guest Mark Stenglein, also a Minneapolis resident and candidate for Mayor discussed the situation quite well.

David gets a solid P (pass), Margaret an A. Katherine Lampher would do well to study Margaret's example.

We heard a familiar voice today, Kelly Gunderson aka NASCAR Kelly when she calls Joe & Pat. She's a frequent caller and recently filled in for Krok a couple of nights. That's not enough to take away her amateur standing, however.

Let's start with Kelly's voice. Like Barry ZeVan, Gunderson's voice isn't exactly made for radio, which has always preferred the baritone to the soprano. She's 31, but sounds half of that, and it simply doesn't compare well with the other women of talk radio, like the Poli-Chicks. After half an hour, though, I got used to it.

In fact, it was easy to get used to, because of her bubbly personality. More so than anyone in this series to date, I heard someone who lives and breathes talk radio and wants this gig. She was a delightful blend of energy and personal excitement at the opportunity, even if sprinkled with a few Norm Crosby-style word substitutions.

The first hour was a segment about Kelly herself, then about the Next Big Thing series to date. At first, I didn't see this as much of a topic until she asked: why so few women? This helped but still didn't justify the time allocated. But all in all, a good hour.

The second hour was on how many medical procedures can now be done in places like India for pennies on the dollar. This was partly personal for her as she explained, and I found it quite informative. I love it when I learn something, be it talk radio, books, church sermons, even TV. Then she moved on to the budget shutdown/solution, seemed a little down as many of both parties are right now. Finally, we heard about how she's having twins, and I couldn't help but be interested and happy for her.

Kelly really shined when she took a vicious lefty call. You could picture the little horns rising out of producer Jason's head. Kelly was polite, listened, then disagreed, then found both passion and courage to win the point as later callers agreed.

I'm happy to give Kelly Gunderson a solid A, only my second I believe, the first going to Brad & Greg last month.

Really well done, Kelly!

Today we heard Sean McDevitt, a radio pro from Reno, newly arrived in the area. Why? To woo and I believe soon marry the soul mate he found on e-Harmony.com. It sounds like true love and I wish them the best.

As a pro, however, I used pass/fail grading, and it's not an automatic pass as Barry Zevan proved last week. But Mr. McDevitt was up to the job. He had a good first hour on the Kelo decision and the State shutdown. I felt he was a bit quick to use the "pox on all your houses" approach, perhaps trying to be fair with a situation he's not familiar with as an outsider. But that's what intrigues me here.

McDevitt is the "man from Mars" we may need here. I would challenge him to view "Almanac" and "At Issue" this week, then decide who's most responsible for this shutdown. I'd even give him a hint: one of these leaders is lying.

The second hour was more about Sean himself, largely at the urging of the producer, Kelly of "The Home and Garden Show." She had her mike on throughout the show, as in "I've started talking and I can't shut up!" Meanwhile, she missed the cue for his opening theme music in the second hour, and finished by thanking him "for filling in."

Sean is a seasoned pro who could have gently dealt with this, but it would be awkward in this "job interview" context. So I will be writing a note about this to Joe O'Brien.

Sean showed solid radio skills throughout and gets an equally solid P (Pass). This week, it's the producer who gets the F.

As luck would have it, we were within range of KSTP-AM by 2pm while returning from Chicago today. But my luck ran out when I heard Barry Zevan ("the weatherman!") at the mike.

I'm sure Barry is a wonderful man of many talents, but as Dirty Harry said, "A man's got to know his limitations." Even on television, his pronounced nasal vocal quality was a hindrance. There, he could mostly overcome it with his quirky on air persona. My late Grandmother called him Peek-A-Boo from his KSTP-TV weather days, always leaning into the picture from the sides. Mr. Zevan has many other enviable broadcast credits, including radio, so Pass / Fail grading is in effect.

He started off reading a long Ben Stein column almost "for the record" with little additional insight. But then he picked up on the recent U.S. Supreme Court decision on the Kelo case, and took some calls. OK so far.

But then Iraq came up and he soon took the up the opposition case that it was a mistake. After an anti-Iraq caller agreed, the producer spoke up to gently ask if establishing democracy in Iraq would be worth it. He waffled. A pro-Iraq caller was next, and he started agreeing with him!

Barry, Barry! We can tolerate the loyal opposition, e.g., "Morning Sedition" on Air America, even learn from them. But nobody can learn from an echo chamber. That and your voice quality I mentioned means you are my first professional talent to get a failing grade.

I'm back from a quick but great five days in Chicago for a very nice wedding. Short ceremony, fabulous dinner, open bar, need I say more? Actually, I do, for the couple deserved as much and my wife and I wish them all the best.

Now, to old business, week 16 of KSTP's "The Next Big Thing" series Sundays from 2pm-4pm. This was Father's Day. FYI, I got a Little Giant ladder so I can unclog the second story gutters!

Today we heard "The Straight Scoop" from Brad Carlson and Greg Bittner (sic?), aka "two straight guys who love their wives."

It being Fathers Day, they were of course obliged to cover same, which they did, and did well. The second feature was a phone interview with the blogger behind ProtestWarrier.com, a self-described arsenal of information to turn back the Liberals. This, too, went fairly well.

And since they gave no clue as to being professionals, I hereby award them an A. I normally find the co-host concept a difficult one to accept in radio, but they balanced each other well, and seemed to always remember we were there, too.

It wasn't Boone & Erickson, but it was a great debut performance.

Today we heard Clinton Collins, Jr., a name familiar to many of us, and currently a contributor to The Rake.

He spent the first hour on why the media seems obsessed with young female blonde crime victims vs the less-attractive, older, or minority equivalents - even white men. Michelle Malkin and others have also discussed this, given the most recent tragedy unfolding in Aruba.

He reminded me a bit of Lew Freeman, who found race issues in most anything. I still remember Lew's claims that Denny Green was unpopular, then fired, because he's black. Rubbish. We were happy to have the new sherriff in town. It was consistently poor playoff performances and clock management even Sid Hartman could improve on that caught up with Green. When you realize that your coach isn't going to get you to the Super Bowl, you move on. Remember Les Steckel?

Anyway, Collins was a bit less heavy-handed about it, but also didn't seem to add much to the discussion, either.

The second hour was about airline tickets by the pound, proper treatment of the Koran, and a couple of other topics. Again, not exactly exciting.

As he said, this is an audition, and he wanted to not rehash topics done all week, be it Iraq or Jacko. But it's tough to make a given cultural topic work for more than a few minutes, even for the best at it like Prager, Limbaugh, and Ingraham. I felt he was too passive, that he needed to dig and challenge us listeners a little more. Instead, it was pretty thin soup. I give him a C, but I think he's better than that.

Forget the culture, the airlines, etc. I'd sure like to hear him discuss what's going on with Minneapolis School Superintendent Thandiwe Peebles. That's the type of topic that could earn him a shot as the Next Big Thing.

Finally, another true amateur takes the mike. Today it was Dr. Paul G. (I'll fill this in tomorrow when I find where I wrote it down.) Vocally, I think he did just fine for a debut performance.

Paul spent the whole two hours on one topic. This is tough to do, but I think he made it work, for the subject was TV's effects on small children.

He believes no child under seven should see any TV, not even Disney or Sesame Street. During this critical time when the child's imagination is developed, TV is stultifying by giving you the images directly. He walks the walk in his own home, the sole exception being NFL football.

I raised an eyebrow, however, when he mentioned, claimed really, that all this TV was causing learning disabilities like Attention Deficit Disorder. I was skeptical not so much over his premise, but his implied acceptance of the ADD statistics out there that many of us question.

I raised the other eyebrow when in the second hour, he said he was a chiropractic doctor. I don't want to start a side discussion about the merits of chiropractors, but they do have a tendency to wander into other areas like nutrition, allergies, and yes, learning disabilities.

But he largely restrained whatever urge he might have had to plug his trade, and I felt the discussion was a good one.

A solid B here, but I'd like to hear a second hour on say, the new I-394 toll lanes.

I was returning from Iowa Sunday. I hadn't really planned on listening to "The Next Big Thing" as I doubtful that it would be a live program. But at 2:06, I could get KSTP-AM 1500 in Owatonna to find out it was one Bill Bunde (sic?). As is so appropriate for Memorial Day weekend, Bill paid tribute to a number of veterans.

He said at the outset that it was good to be on the radio again. And I had heard his first story before, about the trained bird that served with his relative in the military. That and a clearly experienced delivery force me to declare him a professional, and therefoer subject to pass/fail grading. He gets a P.

A special weekend like this really can't take the measure of a propective host. You're limited if you focus on our fallen veterans, as you should. Conversely, you sound impertinent if you discuss, oh, Hillary Clinton or the Special Session.

So, I think Joe O'Brien should consider giving Bill a second, unconstrained shot. But let's see who else is ready to take a chance first.

This week's entry on KSTP-AM's "The Next Big Thing" was all about Star Trek. Only it's not going to be. Except when it is, but that's not now. Fascinating.

The "Star Ship Seeker" set sail with its Captain Ed Beal (or Thiel? Enunciate please!) and First Mate Jason. He came armed with a few Mr. Spock quotes that sounded like they were recorded from across the room, and full phasors of course.

He weaved in and around a number of topics. As he also found out, a little show prep can go a long way. He found it difficult to stay with any one topic.

So while it wasn't unpleasant, it really didn't score any good points either. So this week's grade is a C.

But as always, we appreciate the effort. Live long and prosper!

Tony at Always Right, Usually Correct has been a faithful reader of my commentary on KSTP's Sunday afternoon "The Next Big Thing" from 2-4pm. We agree that while the concept sounded fun, it seems to be coming up short. Despite a couple of recent "successes", Tony asked a good question: where is this going?

I was tempted to stop after week 10, but I was out walking Sunday afternoon, so I listened live. So now, maybe week 12 will be it. In fact, I think I'll write a note to ask Joe O'Brien where he thinks it's going.

Once again, we are presented with the question: is this week's host an amateur? John Caile is a professional firearms instructor and very involved with the passage of the Minnesota Personal Protection Act (MPPA). He obviously has logged considerable time on the stump, no doubt some of it on the radio.

Mr. Caile was very good, very smooth, and only spent maybe half the time on the MPPA. Were he a true amateur, I'd give him a high grade, but the ruling from this chair is otherwise. He's a pro, and therefore gets Pass/Fail grading, earning a magna cum laude "P" for his efforts.

So one more show this weekend, and then maybe a recap post.

This week's contestant called himself "The Dude" which seemed a bit much for a debut performance. But actually, I heard a very good program that I scored as a solid B. Had he not rambled a bit at the front and back, he might have received the first A.

His choice of topics was good, including two of my favorites - education and ethanol. He spent much of hour two on ethanol and its variations with an engineer/writer I believe the NARN interviewed the day before. If so, The Dude did a better job, drawing out all kinds of facts and persectives. More than once, I backed up the .mp3 recording I had made (Replay Radio) and took notes. He even artfully handled an ethanol bigot caller who insisted that ethanol was a net energy source.

As he freely admitted, he did too much show prep - a little on everything, rather than focus on a few. I think he now knows how fast the clock runs.

I think we have another contender for the second round or whatever Joe O'Brien has planned.

There I was, fighting my way through the May Day blizzard, listening to AM 1500's Next Big Thing as I logged another 5 miles walking.

Today we had "Carl's Corner" - the Karaoke equivalent of Phil Hendrie. Know what I mean, know what I mean? Say no more, say no more? Well, let's just say that playing both the aged Carl and his nephew The Dutchman was obvious from the start. Without redeeming content, it was also annoying from the start.

OK, give him some points for trying something completely different. Give him a few more for even attempting this. But the ensuing content was pointless and clueless. It was so bad that even I didn't find the bathroom humor funny.

"Carl" needed to think more about his audience. Making fun of a pet therapist doesn't work because the concept of a "pet therapist" is already funny to the typical talk radio listener. We've already heard Joe Soucheray and Michael Medved interview the real thing. It's difficult to find another level of absurdity beyond that, and failure is painful.

That's why Laura Ingraham and others simply play Senator Robert Byrd's soliloquies without comment. None is necessary. It's funniest when presented as somber reflection, as Byrd imagines it to be.

I don't think I have much choice here. Even with the best of intentions, when Ron Rosenbaum becomes a preferable alternative, the grade has to be an F. But thanks just the same for trying!

This week we had another "ringer" on KSTP AM's "Next Big Thing" series. Dan Pilla is known to many of us, as author, speaker, and radio guest. I believe he has hosted a radio program before, but give me a "uhh, we don't know that!" please.

I therefore think pass/fail grading is appropriate, and Dan earned a solid "P" for his effort. He clearly had done his show prep, spoke well, managed the calls well, did everything well, really.

Now Dan is a paid tax consultant and therefore the subject was taxes - both hours. Again it was well done, and with minimal self-promotion.

The trouble is, there aren't enough nuances or changes to keep a weekly "tax show" interesting. Many of the questions are really too deep for short radio answers, let alone accurate ones. I could see Dan filling in for someone in early April, but a regular show, no. Investment shows at least have the changing markets.

So while Dan was very good, the concept is a bit like the desperate Vaudville performer who douses himself with kerosene, lights a match and says "... but I can only do it once!"