[Speed Gibson,
Friday December 31, 2004 at 3:24pm]
Git-R-Done
Santa gave me a new ceiling fan for the back bedroom / computer room where I blog. The existing one's lights had gone out one by one, and no it wasn't the bulbs. I'll do an autopsy later, but Git-R-Done I done did!
I've done a number of ceiling fan installations over the years, and no two have been at all alike. None of them has ever gone in easy. Sometimes parts are missing, sometimes the directions are wrong, often the various tolerances accumulate in one direction to prevent an occasional screw from going through all the way, two today. Today's biggest challenge were the screws themselves, with hybrid slot/phillips heads that none of my screwdrivers could quite handle. I checked the box, sure enough, from Wisconsin, a blue state.
What really strikes me is how complicated this process is. Two screws to mount the bracket to the ceiling outlet box. Four screws to attach a canopy to the bracket, which another three screws attach it to the main motor housing. The 5 blades take 25 screws, 10 of which you have to do looking up at the mounted motor unit. These mounted blades now get in your way to attach a lighting base with three screws. A nice nylon connector handles the control wiring, but the lighting itself still requites wire nuts. Three more screws attach the bulb assembly to the base. The whole project, including taking down the old one, deciphering the instructions, repeated searches for another screwdriver that might work better, searching for dropped screws in the carpet, swearing, and cleanup ran about four hours.
There's a market opportunity for someone out there to sell an integrated unit. Mount the bracket, attach the wires, twist the motor unit on, secure with 3-4 screws, attach the blades, twist the light unit on, secure with 2-3 screws, snap on the chain handles.
Meanwhile, whoever these idiots are that design the current offerings should have their own level reserved for them in Dante's Inferno.
I've done a number of ceiling fan installations over the years, and no two have been at all alike. None of them has ever gone in easy. Sometimes parts are missing, sometimes the directions are wrong, often the various tolerances accumulate in one direction to prevent an occasional screw from going through all the way, two today. Today's biggest challenge were the screws themselves, with hybrid slot/phillips heads that none of my screwdrivers could quite handle. I checked the box, sure enough, from Wisconsin, a blue state.
What really strikes me is how complicated this process is. Two screws to mount the bracket to the ceiling outlet box. Four screws to attach a canopy to the bracket, which another three screws attach it to the main motor housing. The 5 blades take 25 screws, 10 of which you have to do looking up at the mounted motor unit. These mounted blades now get in your way to attach a lighting base with three screws. A nice nylon connector handles the control wiring, but the lighting itself still requites wire nuts. Three more screws attach the bulb assembly to the base. The whole project, including taking down the old one, deciphering the instructions, repeated searches for another screwdriver that might work better, searching for dropped screws in the carpet, swearing, and cleanup ran about four hours.
There's a market opportunity for someone out there to sell an integrated unit. Mount the bracket, attach the wires, twist the motor unit on, secure with 3-4 screws, attach the blades, twist the light unit on, secure with 2-3 screws, snap on the chain handles.
Meanwhile, whoever these idiots are that design the current offerings should have their own level reserved for them in Dante's Inferno.