Speed Gibson

I like KvM's term "Pollitorial" for the 50-31 percent drubbing that Mark Kennedy is supposedly suffering in his race against Amy Klobuchar for U.S. Senate. It's clearly not a poll in the traditional sense of the word, as many bloggers have illustrated quite well.

When I first saw this article, I shook my head, wondering what is going on at the corner office at the Minneapolis Star Tribune. Here you have a "poll" that has missed the mark more times than you'd care to admit. Your critics point out, and you can't deny it, that the errors have almost totally favored the Left, the DFL in this case. You look at this poll and you know from the spread, one not seen in Minnesota for decades, simply cannot be true. And yet, you publish it anyway, couched in weasel words like "it's a surprise" or that the Republicans will no doubt close the gap, as if to say the gap is real to begin with.

If you're a real publisher, if printer's ink flows in your veins, you pick up the phone and summon the Minnesota Pollers to your office to explain themselves. You also see to it that your Managing Editor who OK'd it and put it on page one is there to explain himself.

"What are you people trying to do here? You know this conclusion is ridiculous. Everybody in the whole country knows it's ridiculous. Amy Klobuchar knows it's ridiculous. Why are we printing this?"

"Sir, we double checked everything. We think the poll is accurate, though maybe the timing was, ... Ford Bell has dropped out, so we thought it was time to test the waters."

"I'm fine with that, but again, your answer is ridiculous. If my someone walked in here and said our circulation and ad revenue were up 20 percent, what do you think I should do? Accept it, throw a party? No, if I didn't fire him on the spot, I'd send him back to find the error in his calculation."

"We did that, of course. But the numbers speak for themselves."

"What about the context? Your sample? Your methods? Look, the answer is wrong, wildly wrong. That's the only fact that matters here. Now, again, what went wrong here?"

"I'm not sure what you're asking for here. Do you want us to just play with the poll to get an answer you like? It doesn't work that way."

"Sure it does. You check everything. Something's wrong with this poll, and this isn't exactly the first time, is it? Maybe like you said, the timing's off. It's hot. People are vacationing. Amy has been running TV ads, Kennedy not. And by the way, Amy hasn't said much at all. She doesn't debate. Nobody knows what she stands for. She's going to have to open her mouth sooner or later, and when she does, Kennedy will respond. So maybe, just maybe, you should have just thrown out this poll, waiting a month, maybe two."

"That's fine in hindsight, but..."

"Hindsight? I'm talking foresight here! You all knew this was a crock before you ever published it. Now, look, I'd like to believe this poll, too. I'd love to see Amy win as much as you, but this isn't helping, making us look like shills."

"Polls sell a lot of papers, good or bad."

"Absolutely they do, and I have to believe good polling outsells bad polling. Now let's all take a breath. We will continue to publish the Minnesota Poll. But until further notice, until we figure out what's skewing the numbers, nothing gets printed without my OK at least two days in advance. Clear?"